Today is my first down day. The first time that I’ve felt dispirited at work since arriving. Even the lurid wall colour in my office cannot raise my spirits. I’m not sure what’s caused this feeling, perhaps I am tired. Or need some sugar. I’ve definitely had enough caffeine.

I feel overwhelmed and I lack perspective. I feel like it’s my role to find perspective for everyone else, and yet at the moment I just have to ask questions all the time! Perhaps I am looking at this the wrong way? I suppose I am building an underlying feeling that quite a lot needs to be done, and quite a lot needs to change to get it done. That’s rather unsettling.

It’s easy to think ‘were here now – how do we get to where “we” want to be’ mind set. Perhaps we shouldn’t worry too much about where “we” are now, maybe I don’t even know where that is? Maybe I don’t want to know.

I think I have to concentrate on understanding where “we” want to be, because without that the path become rather foggy. I have an idea of where we should be heading, I just have to slog through the existing swamp to get there, normally I let the swamp flow around me, ignoring the tugging vines and the scary looking inhabitants. At the moment it feels like the swamp is waking up, and that some bits of it are full of poisonous snakes.

Maybe tomorrow the swamp will look more appealing, or maybe I’ll have my wellies on.