Following on from thinking about strengths and changing how we use these in our lives, I noticed that two of the people in the group were aiming to work on their self-awareness. I also noted that these were the two in the group who had veryrecently had children.

They commented on how they felt it was really hard to define their own ‘selves’. They couldn’t describe what made them unique. The rest of the group had all shared one thing that we had thought about the rest of the group – we had to chose one of the strengths for each person. We then compared these to what we thought our ‘brand’ was.

I think we all found it quite difficult to write down what we thought people might think of us. But what these two said chimed with me, it made me think of those first couple of months after I moved. I associated myself with being new, having moved, and I think many of the things about how I am as a person are tied to places and other people.

I’m not saying in any way that I have been living a lie – but the changes highlighted that I don’t always have to be perceived in a particular way, or behave ‘as expected’.

I asked one of the two women mentioned earlier as we left the meeting if they thought that their difficulty with their self definition was related to their recent motherhood. She wasn’t sure if it had. My pop theory was that they had become something new, entered into another world, another role. My theory stretched to that perhaps when moving job/place that I had to also redefine yourself internally.